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Miss Manners Gets a Sick Pit Etiquette for an anarchist's sport By Steve Hawk The official 2001 rule book of Little League Baseball, there's a section titled, endearingly, "Field Decorum," which not only bans such indecorous acts as fistfights and loud arguments, but also mandates that the actions of everyone on the diamond be "above reproach." Alas, no such pamphlet exists for the sport of surfing, and never will. And yet, somehow, a sense of order still dominates most surf spots. Even at thickly populated breaks, arguments are uncommon, violence is rare, and the few ugly eruptions that make the morning paper do so largely because of their infrequency. This is because surfers—all our claims to cool-guy anarchism notwithstanding—live by a rigid set of unwritten bylaws. Here are a few: 1. The first and most important mandate is to avoid taking off on a wave already occupied by a surfer who's coming your way. Even if the guy in pole position clambers to his feet like a dork and seems guaranteed not to get past his bottom turn, think twice about snaking: The wave is his to waste. The worst offense a surfer can commit is to shoulder-hop someone on the verge of squeaking through the barrel of his life. 2. If you're in position for a sweet one and a surfer down the line does the proper thing by pulling back, seek him out later and thank him. It'll surprise everyone within earshot and inject a little love into the war zone. 3. Hunt alone or in pairs. Nothing sucks the stoke out of a relaxing session between friends faster than a vanload of wave-starved clowns who jump out hooting and quick-change into their wetsuits. If you and your bro get lucky enough to discover an isolated, uncrowded reef that's going off, calm yourselves, watch for a while, and then ease your way into the lineup one at a time. 4. Never drive to the beach in a vehicle that costs more than the town's average annual household income. (A safety-related subsection: If you live in Silicon Valley, are still financially solvent, and surf the working-class coast between Santa Cruz and San Francisco, leave behind the Lexus with the "My IPO kicked your IPO's ass" license-plate holder.) 5. If you ride a longboard at a shortboard spot, do not abuse the tanker's gliding capabilities by paddling beyond the pack and picking off the best wave of every set. In fact, there should be a federal statute outlawing this oft-committed infraction. Observe these rules and you will become a surfer above reproach. Then you can do what real surfers do: Live outside the rules. Back to Intro |
   
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