1. Fake a Sick Day
Brilliant tactics from PAUL LIEBERSTEIN, a.k.a. Toby Flenderson, the human-resources dude on NBC's The Office:
(1) Fake two sick days (you got it BAD), in the middle of the week. If possible, schedule them so you miss a "fun" work event, like a special (free) lunch.
(2) Rent some movies the first day; play outside the next. If caught, say you're feeling better but are still CONTAGIOUS. Tell the person who catches you that you don't want to touch or breathe on him.
(3) Once you're back at work, never imply that you took some "time off." Instead, say, "Believe me, that was a hard time." TRUST NO ONE with the truth—absolutely no one.
(4) Be prepared for the fact that some will never believe you were sick, but it's their job to pretend to believe you. And the sad/happy truth is, as long as no one has to do your work for you, no one REALLY CARES whether you're there or not.

2. Fix a Motorcycle (With Your Teeth)
Pop! That's the sound of trouble on two wheels. If your clutch cable snaps, you can find yourself stranded A LONG WAY FROM HOME, in the wrong place at the wrong time. It happened to me eight years ago in Cambodia while riding a rented motorbike between Khmer Rouge and government positions after a day of negotiating for interviews with Maoist maniacs. I coasted to a stop. It was sunset, and I was ten miles from safety in a heavily mined no-man's-land of poisonous snakes and AK-47-toting farmers, with a bunch of murderers on my tail. You're always told to pack a spare cable, and I did—inside my saddlebags, 6,000 miles away. In the real world, there are often no parts, few tools, and less time, so:
(1) Use a rock to smash open the cable's metal tip;
(2) strip back the plastic covering (your teeth will work);
(3) find the broken wire and bite it;
(4) pull;
(5) knot the stub around a small pebble;
(6) slot it all into the bottom of your clutch handle; and
(7) get outta Dodge.
—PATRICK SYMMES

3. Be Fearless in Whitewater
"It's hard to be fearless," says pro kayaker BRAD LUDDEN. "That's half the reason you do it." But to boost your confidence in big water, use these tips:
(1) It's OK to be nervous while scouting. But once you're in the boat, total CONFIDENCE is the only option.
(2) Look where you want to go. Cringing at those huge holes in your line can land you in them. FOCUS: Even Class V rapids have clear lines.
(3) PRACTICE the hard moves in easy rapids. Ferrying, eddy hopping, and surfing are the basics of every skill level. "When you've got it," says Ludden, "kayaking becomes a sort of meditation."

4. Brew a Seasonal Beer
Ah, the dog days! High beer-swilling season! Which means trips to the store, which mean getting out of the hammock, which is unfortunate—and just another great excuse to brew your own, which is why we asked BeerTown.org's Ray Daniels, author of Designing Great Beers, to provide a delicious, foolproof summertime recipe. Inspired by Belgian witbier but with a tropical twist from West Africa, it'll be ready to enjoy in 20 to 30 days. PARADISE SUMMER ALE: 5 lbs wheat-malt extract; 1 oz pelletized centennial hops; 1 packet dry ale yeast; 1 oz grains of paradise, crushed. Boil three gallons of water; remove from heat, add extract, stir until dissolved; add all but a quarter-ounce of the pellets, return to heat, boil while stirring constantly with a long wooden spoon for 40 minutes; add grains of paradise, remaining hops, and two more gallons of water; kill the fire. Makes FIVE FREAKIN' GALLONS (about 53 trips to the head). Kit and ingredients, with fermentation and bottling instructions, from $69; morebeer.com
—CHRISTIAN DeBENEDETTI

BONUS SKILL
Choose Your Suds Wisely
Ever since Seoul, South Korea, native and chef Sang Yoon—a self-described beer sommelier—ditched five-star cuisine to reinvent the Santa Monica pub Father's Office, he's been ballyhooed for his awesome beer menu. Here are his top summer sippers: GRILLING? Alaskan Smoked Porter: nice and rich; you'll look like a genius. BEACH-BUMMING? Allagash White: cool, tart, fresh; goes well with that ubiquitous smell of coconut. CLIMBING? Pabst Blue Ribbon: Use the can as a signal mirror if you can't climb home. (Locate the first two with ratebeer.com's "beer finder.")
—CHRISTIAN DeBENEDETTI

5. Make a Power Smoothie
A creamy (oooh!), chocolatey (aaahh!), treat-yourself snack packing the perfect RECOVERY RATIOS of protein, fiber, and heart-healthy fat—because you earned it (yes, I did!):
1 banana; 2 tbsp natural peanut butter; 3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa; 1 cup fat-free milk; 3/4 cup ice; 1 tbsp honey; 2 tbsp flaxseed, ground; 2 tbsp wheat germ, ground. Blend until smooth; makes two servings. 402 calories, 49 g carbs, 18 g protein, 19 g fat, 14 g fiber. Find more recipes in 5 Essentials for a Winning Life, by correspondent CHRIS CARMICHAEL, founder of Carmichael Training Systems.